I finally told him about my recent adventures and I also mentioned that I was getting to know a dominant recently that seemed to be promising and how it all fell apart. He thought it was comical and laughed about it “See, you don’t want to be mine” I asked him to stop teasing and continued to talk about other things “so when are you coming to see me?” I didn’t answer him “you know I’m not teasing you, how long have we been going through this?” I know… every couple of months he asks me the same thing. “Don’t you miss me?” I do But I don’t know if I will ever be ready to open that door again.

 “just understand that I’m not here to hurt you but to teach you, it takes time and you need to start seeing me again, that’s all” internally I’m shaking my head, I just cant.  but I feel it    …. slowly I’m slipping  in again, I feel it.

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